I spent a lot of time in the streets yesterday. And the copy of Big K.R.I.T.'s latest offering was just what I needed. Shout out to the person who made it appear on my iPhone. Ask and she (ye, me) shall receive. I have listened to it a few times since I got it. But as I was lost riding through a place called Cheverly, Bowie, and DC, I actually listened to the lyrics. There are a few winners. That Temptation song makes me kinda wanna strap on some 'plastics' and pretend like I'm unfathered.
A lot of lines stuck out to me. But I wanna deal with a few lines specifically (taken from Red Eye).
Being single is cool 'til ain't nobody around
Then I'm chasing you down, cuz you was ready to fly
I can't be what you want me to be
You're shooting too high cuz you ain't aiming at me
...
I ain't the man you want me to be
I guess that's what's been bothering me
That might be the suckiest situation ever. I've been throwing a lot of shade these last few days. So much so, I fear that I'm going to run into someone who catches my quick shade, doesn't think it's cute, and slaps the piss out of me. Word to Evelyn Braxton. Hold me up in prayer. For real! In all this shade throwing, at least twice I have basically told people they weren't measuring up to the standards they advertise. Synonyms for disappointed were used with a smile.
I've never felt I wasn't enough for someone. I have felt that someone wasn't particularly happy with the stae of the relationship or their choice in me. But that was THEM. It didn't make me feel less capable, smart, etc.
Back to the lyrics though. It would have to suck majorly to be with someone, love them to death, but fear you don't, can't, won't ever measure up to what they see as your potential. I wonder how many men feel like this.
Do men who make less than their mates, are from more humble beginnings, or are less educated feel like this? Not a far bridge to cross. As a man, if you connect your esteem to traditional man stuff, and you're with a woman who can do more than you, can you really ever reconcile that and NOT feel like you are 'less than'? And is there an equal feeling for women?